Thought for the Day

Treasure Beach Forum: Inspirational Thoughts: Thought for the Day
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Glasceta Honeyghan on Sunday, December 08, 2002 - 07:48 am: Edit Post

Today's Inspiration


See It Through

When you're up against a trouble,
Meet it squarely, face to face;
Lift your chin and set your shoulders,
Plant your feet and take a brace.
When it's vain to try to dodge it,
Do the best that you can do;
You may fail, but you may conquer,
See it through!

Black may be the clouds about you,
And your future may seem grim,
But don't let your nerve desert you;
Keep yourself in fighting trim.
If the worst is bound to happen,
Spite of all that you can do,
Running from it will not save you,
See it through!

Even hope may seem but futile,
When with troubles you're beset,
But remember you are facing
Just what other men have met.
You may fail, but fall still fighting;
Don't give up, whate'er you do;
Eyes front, head high to the finish.
See it through!

Edgar A. Guest


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By MADISON on Monday, January 15, 2007 - 12:24 pm: Edit Post

Hi!
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Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By CAMERON on Monday, January 15, 2007 - 11:45 pm: Edit Post

Hi!
Looks great! Well done. It very impressive. Very nicely done. I will bookmark!


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Glasceta Honeyghan on Tuesday, January 16, 2007 - 12:45 pm: Edit Post

How to Say ‘I’m Sorry’
By Emily Battaglia, LifeScript Staff Writer
Tuesday, January 16, 2007


There was no shortage of celebrity apologies in the media last year. Michael Richards appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman to rue his racist tirade at a comedy club. Mel Gibson publicly lamented his drunken belligerence with the cops who arrested him. Rep. Mark Foley said he was sorry for his inappropriate conduct with young male pages. But did you believe them? Dr. Aaron Lazare, M.D., author of On Apology (Oxford University Press, 2004) reveals the best and worst ways to say “I’m sorry.” Plus: Do you have good manners?

In our lifetime, we’ve probably all made a bad situation worse by botching an apology. We’ve probably said “I’m sorry” just to make peace. And most of us have failed to apologize when we should have.

We’ve got two excuses, in Lazare’s opinion: First, an apology can accidentally double as a confession. You might inadvertently admit your guilt when the person you’re talking to was blissfully ignorant. Second, most of us perceive apologies as shameful. Saying “I’m sorry” removes our armor, Lazare explains. Admitting wrongdoing is often seen as a sign of weakness. But in fact, it takes strength, courage and humility.


Apologies are powerful. Done the right way, they can repair a relationship and provide “restoration of dignity for the other person,” Lazare notes. “To unhumiliate is an act of generosity.”

Apologizing is a selfless act. In extreme cases, when the person you’ve offended believes the fault lies with them, you’ve got to accept the blame before true healing can begin.

We often overlook the actual anatomy of an apology. Most of us are more concerned with getting to the result – forgiveness – or, in some cases, clearing our name or making peace.

But what we say, when we say it and how we say it matter.

Apology’s Main Ingredient
The biggest mistake most people make when apologizing is “without question, the failure to adequately acknowledge the offense,” says Lazare.


Admitting a wrongdoing involves expressing remorse, recognizing how you hurt another person and agreeing that it will never happen again. To clear up any confusion, explain what led you to cause the offense. But never use it to justify or excuse your behavior.

“I’m really sorry you’re upset” doesn’t cut it. This only acknowledges that they’re feeling wounded, not that you’re to blame. Neither does having someone else do the dirty work, like Rep. Foley did: “Mark explicitly reaffirms his responsibility of concern and remorse,” said his lawyer. Coming from another person’s lips, remorse seems insincere. And never use “but” (“I’m sorry for hurting you, but…”). Keep your excuses to yourself.

Actions speak louder than words, so you may have to offer reparation s that go beyond an apology. Let the wronged person know you’re willing to take action to mend the situation and agree to their terms if you really want forgiveness. Maybe it’s a public apology; maybe it’s monetary compensation or amends of another sort.

“Think of an apology for a serious offense as an ongoing process,” says Lazare. Repeating your transgression negates an apology. It can permanently destroy trust and end a relationship.


Time It Right
Timing is everything, especially when it comes to saying sorry. While you should immediately excuse yourself after accidentally bumping into someone, some apologies are more effective when the victim has had time to sort out hurt feelings.

“Give the other person a chance to get angry at you,” says Lazare. And give yourself enough time to really digest the pain or humiliation you’ve caused. That way, when it’s time to apologize, you’ll be able to articulate your remorse more clearly and discuss what amends are needed.

Lazare also points out that it’s never too late to say I’m sorry. A longstanding grudge can sometimes be mended with a simple, sincere apology.

And remember, while your first goal is to lift the burden from the person you’ve hurt, an apology can heal your emotional wounds, too.


“Apologies are like human beings – all the same, but totally unique,” says Lazare. A genuine apology expresses humility, empathy and generosity.

And while you’re taking a risk, if you base your words on these principles and truly seek forgiveness, you’ll be more successful in repairing your broken relationship.


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Glasceta Honeyghan on Wednesday, January 17, 2007 - 06:49 am: Edit Post

"Nothing will sustain you more potently than the power to recognize in your humdrum routine, as perhaps it may be thought, the true poetry of life."
~Sir William Osler~


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Glasceta Honeyghan on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 02:29 am: Edit Post

"Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday, far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
~Rainer Maria Rilke~


Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Glasceta Honeyghan on Thursday, January 18, 2007 - 04:47 pm: Edit Post

Our creator would never have made such lovely days and have given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above and beyond all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal.”

~Nathaniel Hawthorne, 1804-1864~



Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message  By Glasceta Honeyghan on Friday, January 19, 2007 - 08:09 am: Edit Post

What would it be like if you lived each day, each breath, as a work of art in progress? Imagine that you are a Masterpiece unfolding every second of every day, a work of art taking form with every breath.
~Tom Crum~