Genius, that power which dazzles motal eyes, is often perseverance in disguise.
--Henry William Austin

Perseverance gives power to weakness, and
opens to poverty the world's
wealth. It spreads fertility over
the barren landscape, and bids the
choicest flowers and fruits spring
up and flourish in the
desert abode of thorns and briars.


--S. G.Goodrich

The man who has seen
the rising moon break
out of the clouds at midnight
has been present like an
archangel at the creation
of light and of the world
--Ralp Waldo Emerson

"The saints are the sinners who keep trying."
--Robert Louis Stephenson

"When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you, till it seems as if you could not go on a minute longer, never give up then, for that's just the place and the time that the tide will turn."

--Harriet Reecher Stowe

Caught on Tape


It all started with my decision to clean my closet. It might have never happened at all if things had not fallen on my head that morning. With dogged determination, I plunged into the task with a vengeance.

And then I found it. Stuck back on a shelf was an old unmarked video cassette.

Since my curiosity got the better of me, I decided to take a well-deserved reprieve from my cleaning frenzy. I grabbed a Coke and decided to check it out. Simultaneously popping the top of the Coke and the tape into the VCR, it didn't take me long to recognize the footage.

It was a little girl's birthday party from a few years back. I hit the fast forward button and watched the little waifs merrily enacting birthday rituals in hyper speed. Satisfied that I had seen enough to accurately label the mystery tape, I mistakenly hit the play button instead of the stop button on the remote control. And then it happened.

At that exact moment, as if on cue, the camera zoomed in for a close-up on her mother. And for that split second, I recoiled at what I saw. I recognized the mother, but I absolutely could not believe how much she had changed. I watched in amazement for a few moments, then rewound the tape and watched it again.

This must be some kind of mistake. The woman in the video looked old beyond her years! My mind was having a difficult time processing it all.

What could be the explanation for this? It wasn't just the lines that were carved deeply into to her face. I could have accepted that. It wasn't the extra weight that she was carrying that gave her an older look. Rather, it was that empty hollow look of sadness that haunted me. She seemed completely unaware that she was being captured on tape.

I found myself becoming entranced as I watched her every gesture and expression. I noticed how she attempted to conceal her sadness by smiling amicably at the children who were caught up in their revelry. She even managed to respond to them with a forced gaiety that amazed me. But try as she might, she didn't completely fool me.

I had known her for a long time. My mind flashed back to the person she once was. I remember her clearly from her high school years. I wouldn't say that she possessed that Homecoming Queen type beauty, but there was a certain attractiveness that seemed to come from an inner effervescence. She was what a lot of people would refer to as a free spirit. What I remember most of all was her laugh and her eyes.

Her eyes were an unusual shade of green. And they sparkled. As the last of the video faded out, I wondered what could have caused such a dramatic change in her. I knew she had been through many things in the past few years, but I had no idea that those life-changing events would take such a toll.

Before I knew it, the quiet tears that had splashed down the front of my shirt gave way to gut-wrenching sobs as I mourned the woman she used to be. Finally the torrent of tears subsided and I headed to the bathroom to wash my face.

As I washed the rivulets of black mascara that had cascaded down my cheeks, I looked up in the mirror.

Then and there a second realization came as yet another shock.

I looked at myself -- and that woman with oddly colored green eyes was back -- happier, stronger, and more hopeful than ever before.


~ Rose Wade ~

Let us, then, be up and doing,
with a heart for any fate;
still achieving, still pursuing,
learn to labor and to wait.

--Henry Wordsworth Longfellow