It is amazing how one cannot find a decent single guy in TB. Where have all the men gone? May be someone can tell me. If for e.g. one is looking a partner to settle down it is like looking for a needle in a haystack. This is a serious matter.

You sound just like my girlfriend in the States, and my girlfriend in France, and my girlfriend in Canada, and . . .

I would also assume lots of men are asking the same question as to where all the decent single women are.

It is a serious matter - and an age old question.

Rebecca - Are you saying it is a world-wide crisis. Probably - I have not checked it out!!
Probably someone else could shed some light on the matter.

Is it because the decent single guys in Treasure Beach are committed. They enter into a relationship from teenhood and stays there. I find them not to be interested in "variety" and I dont think they are into the dating game. I guess in order to find a decent single guy in Treasure Beach one need to ensure that they are imbedded into the community and are available during the formative years. It is very rare that a woman/man entering the community at mature stage finds an available partner. Also, I think its because of their committment why divorce in Treasure Beach is non-existent, also cheating is very rare. This is what makes Treasure Beach such a unique community.

Lonely Girl, I feel if for you, TB is not the place to be if you are lonely, and worst if you are my age.

Funny that this topic should come up.
On my last reach (this year) my housemate and myself had a discussion on where all the single women of TB were......
We seemed to see lots and lots of men, (single and sometimes not) some who told us how lonely they were for a woman.
NO, not like that!
Well maybe sometimes like that..... ;)
My pt. being that it appeared to us that there were far more men in the area than women....
Was it that we just did not see the women because they are stuck at home doing domestic duties, while the men are out on the street?
I am curious to know other's thoughts and experiences on this.....

Dem gone a Farine to look work and mek some money
to help dem family.

you want to know why divoce is so rare in Treasure Beach, because a lot of women are suffering silently cheating goes on everywhere, just that the community is so small and every one knows each other.

Takky you are so right. Sometimes th e women know, but they still remain with these men because of their children

The culture was to stay with your husband no matter what,and it is a wrong culture, and it need to change.

Star culture and vows are two different things.
Thats why you should look deep before you leap.
When you take a vow in the presence of the lord saying FOR BETTER OR FOR WORST,IN SICKNESS OR IN HEALTH.(UNTIL DEATH DO US PART)You should also think of the reasons why people in different parts of the world get married and divorce so often.I would say they don't know who they are marrying they date for a couple weeks BAM lets get married.A lot of people dont know the meaning of marriage.So therefore the only thing that needs to be change is the peoples minds.

single/smart you are right when you take a vow it is for better or worst till death do us part. We will never know who we are marring, people do change and people can pretend for years. I disagree with you when you said people date for a couple of weeks and then get married, but their are people who live together for years and then finally agree to get married and BAM then the get divorce,

I know of guite a few young men who have left the Treasure Beach area to be with wives and girlfriends in England and the States.Women from all over the world are comming into the area for vacation and finding true love,and before you know it our men have migrated

Lonely Girl - You are not going to find much divorces or single man/woman for that matter in Treasure Beach because they are all into inter-relationship. A vast majority of people in Treasure Beach (St. Elizabeth for that matter) marry or date their own family member with knowledge of the same. As Takky said, it is a small community and everybody knows each other. It is just recently that people from St. Elizabeth (Treasure Beach) start dating outside of a family member... That is why it is so rare to find a single man and for that matter most relationship last so long.. They are not leaving their family member....

Disgusted.... I have no idea which Tribe you're from but if you choose incest that is your choice.. Where did you get your info on people from T/B ????? You need to think twice before making such comments....

Takky, you are so right in what you say, many of the women do suffer in silence. Single/smart, I feel it's such a shame that the men don't remember the sacred words of those vows, eg. forsaking all others. Dee, not all of those that marry guys from TB actually find true love. They think they have found true love, but time does tell. Though a number of the men concerned are genuine, there are quite a number who just seek opportunity. They sweet talk the woman into believing that they really love and care for them, but eventually the truth comes out. All those guys were looking for was a route out of Jamaica and a better life. Yes they love TB, but they love american $$'s and english ££'s more, and can't wait to return to flaunt their new found wealth and status.

Learned from Experience is right. I married a man from TB 5 years ago and it all went well until my money ran out. Now he has built a house back home plus got his American visa and suddenly I find another woman has paid for him to go back to TB. He tells me that even if I had the money for a ticket there is nowhere in Treasure Beach for me to stay. I really believed until quite recently that he loved me. Sorry to put my pathetic story on the net but I just want to warn single women what can happen, not that I listened. I still married him after I had heard similar stories. Why are women fools and idiots?

Women aren't fools and idiots they are just trusting and open hearted - yes we get hurt but it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all...i was in TB in March and met a very cute guy who i am still in touch with - he brought me out every night i was there and didnt look for anything in return..so not all guys are out to hurt you ladies...

heartbroken UK wife i really feel bad for you but you want to know they are all users.they are only looking for opportunity,

Brokenheart from UK I hope you will fight for rightfully what,s yours if you are still married to this person and you think there is a divorce in sight.

Learned and Heartbroken
Let us take comfort in the fact that we are not alone.
No we are not fools and idiots
We just have big open hearts....
and excuse me for saying but the sex is just so very sizzling hot, that maybe our vision is affected???
As humans we are expected to error and what an error he was.....
Respect to you both

I think what Takky is saying is right. But I also think that If a women lets a man walk on her than she should not complain about foot prints on her back. If you feel your man is cheating on you let him know YOUR not going to put with it. If you hear someting about your man investigate also no unprotected sex with him MAKE him take a test befor your together again. Some TB men come up to the STATES and carry on with different women like they don't have anyone to go home to. I watch them treat the women in the states better than the one at home. They are always taking the one in the states out on the road AT home maybe I see them taking the wives to Blackriver to do some shopping. Women please wake up some times people are not telling you things out of spite they are telling you because they are a women just like you and they have been there Women need to stick together While your home during hurricane season with no current or water they are up here sleeping with another women taking her out to go dance and drink and having a good time

As someone who grew up in Treasure Beach, I see it time and time again. Local guys with foreign women. What these women don't realize is that the minute they go back to foreign, these guys are out looking for a replacement. These poor women are overseas sending these guys money and buying things for them believing that these guys love them. Just remember, a lot of them are looking for visa's, money, a house etc. Just be warned.

It's about time something like this happened to some English & American women because some you stopped at nothing to broke up marriages & relationships. Ever heard of what goes around comes around. I have no pity for you Heartbroken Uk Wife, you used your money to take him you should've known no money no husband. Some of you get exactly what you deserved. Matters not how much money you had true love eventually wins. You made the mistake please learn from it. Some marriages work regardless if the money finishes that love.

Awoman scorned when her TBeach man left her this is a whole different issue. Its about single men, you should blame your husband, you also said you have no pity for UK wife but you want to know something its for better or worst not when money ran out. sometimes we women can do better on our own.I am just curious why your husband left you, because if it was true love he would have never left you. Sometimes, we have to be careful what we say, it might just turn around.

I did not have to put the story of my stupidity on this forum, but now I have I think I have to correct some misconceptions. The point is, he told me he was single when I met him, and I believed him and for 6 years he stayed with me in England. He was not a great lover at first but over time things changed, he must have been practising behind my back over here. And now I'm not saying he has gone back to someone he was with before. It seems he has found another, younger British woman. I dont want any part of the house in TB that does have both our names on the paperwork. He always told me he wouldnt want a Jamaican wife, he'd beat her. He NEVER raised a hand to me. I realise that I still do love him so cannot post to this forum again

Something has to be done before another woman suffers needlessly. TB.Net could create a gallery where women, both Ja and foreign, could post pictures of their man. That would prevent unnecessary poaching of those already 'taken'. And i'm sure the men of TB wouldn't mind.

I agree with you I Spy. It happened to two good women I personally knew and what pain that was for them to have gone through.Women if you want to have a great time if that,s what you are looking for please protect yourselves and do not go talking marriage especially if you are intoxicated/drunk.Most men in TB are married or they have commitment to a woman with a child or children.Please enjoy your vacations eat/drink/enjoy the ocean and the wonderful people but,keep your eyes and ears open if you are sweet talked into marriage proposals.
This happens all over the world but being a TB native I'm just speaking for TB.

I don't agree with you at all, I think some of the women come to Jamaica and fall in love, not knowing that some of these men only want their money.Some of the men they get in Jamaica there is no way they can get those men in FARINE... why because the man dem a look help. Men if you don't love these women leave them alone. After all dem have feelings to.

^ 5 to I spy - What you have said is indeed correct. In fact all these scrounging types need to do is find themselves 26 women from foreign, with each one of them going to TB once a year for 2 weeks. This ensures they have a meal ticket for the full 52 weeks of the year. I guess the only drawback is ‘plane timings – I suppose it can be a bit of pain in the neck if one flies out at 10 in the morning and the next one nah reach until 2 in the afternoon. Even worse if it was the other way round! They need to have a chat with the airlines and ask them to get arrivals and departures timetables in sequence for their needs, so it enables them to drop one off at departures just as the next one is coming through arrivals.

Brian, you must be kidding. Either that or you don't have a clue how things go in Jamaica.

lady g

true, true, true

these guys are only looking for foreign women to support them. they are users, ladies wake up

I think it's about time everyone woke up !!!! I feel no pity for the heartbroken UK whoever and the rest.. You come to Jamaica for some sweet sugarcane, and forget about your Boyfriends, Husbands or both that you left home looking for a fling and you certainly didn't think about the common ground "NO FINANCE,NO ROMANCE" Check yourself before you wreck yourself. You come to Treasure Beach a 40 plus year old and shake your fanny at the 20 plus young men and think you're in "LOVE". Face the facts, the ONLY reason the men get with you is because you're an easy target, meet today, sleep tonight..Sista no Jamaican woman nuh dat easy, dat is precious goods..You want that apple don't expect to walk under the tree and it going to fall in your hands..that would be the tourist girls... You want the sista? start climbing to the top of the tree... Culture is a hell of a thing so don't come trying to tarnish our community with your sorrow stories, take your BS elsewhere because here you are complaining and 90% of the time you are the same one who refuse to go back to Jamaica because you're so "Hard done by" and then you go and do THE SAME THING on another island and the story start again.

"HEADING SOUTH", a new movie with Charlotte Rampling, about middle-aged white women and
Haitian beach boys, examines the universal
situation very succinctly and from some intriguing multiple viewpoints. A good one to see, just released, so DVD out in about 6 months.

Let's face it ladies. We can hardly make sweeping statements about culture and the like. So many of us--jamaicans and tourists alike--try our hearts at love and end up getting hurt. I am from around the Treasure Beach area, married a man from Treasure Beach, got verbally and physically abused. And the relationship just didn't work. Lying and cheating and getting divorced are becoming rampant everywhere. I guess we are living in critical times hatrd to deal with.

so dat means you never had true love either @a women scorned when her tbeach husband left! because your tbeach man wouldn't have lef you for nothing if it were true love. dat too harsh to say uk wife get what she deserve! she were jus blind to true love, and dats what dem say love is blind. some men in treasure beach are very smart and know who they can get around.

To reality, its messed up to look down on someone else thats going through a thing like that. UK was in love with that guy and he broke her heart, ok people go through that all their lives, but it still hurts. I know this is a female conversation and I am a male, but I just had to let reality Know that there are Jamaican girls that are just as easy as other girls from other places. When I go to Jamaica I can sleep with so many girls. I remember in the 90's when I went down there with my friends we sleep with so many girls and some of these females had husband and kids, but they don't care because they trying to get money, just like the males. I been back to Jamaica, but have grown up and don't do things like that now more, I have respect for these people and their relationships. Yes everytime I go there I have the chance to sleep with girls, but not my style anymore plus all the aids thats in TB can't be taking chances like that.

UK Wife I know who you are please don't do this because you are still with him. He's having an affair maybe, but he has'nt left has he? That not this is any consolation. What money are you talking about he's a hard working man. He was also hard working in Treasure Beach even though he would drink, never one to lofes. What if his family finds out that you've been writing to this forum about him and saying all these thing about him. They also have internet acess please don't burn your bridges. They love ,respect and treated you well everytime you visit, not that you are santa ,but they really love you and you can't say different. Everyone goes through a bad patch they call it the seven year itch yours come ayear early work on you marriage instead of talking about him like this. You know he loves you. You might have had some money but it's not him why you ain't got it anymore. As for him not wanting a Jamaican woman I don't beleive it. I was told there's not alot of Jamaicans living where you live ,but I know for sure if they was one available in your neck of the woods he'd have the affair with her. This man works hard please don't let it look like you have spend all your money on him you have not. He's someone that does not take and take he gives too. He's different and you know too. PLEASE WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE ITS SALVAGABLE cause you love each other FACT!!!! I wish that I lived in England so I would consul you guys for free.

Reality,
You need to take a chill pill and relax. There is no need to get so critical towards UK Lady. She was simply sharing her story on the topic. People have to understand that the feeling of being "In Love" is a serious feeling. That's something that is uncontrollable.

no pitty for the ones who claim they get used,
I think in fact they are the users,these men give them what they come for which is the good ole jamaican/Treasure Beach SEX.in return they have to pay I never heard of a man in TB holding a gun to ones head for anything.What goes around comws around.

I am not sure this threaded discussion is informational or educational or in allignment with any aspects of the goals, vision and mission of this website. It is very opinionated, and at times disparaging to some of the responders, which in effect makes it an ineffective threaded discussion. The result, a withdrawal of the discussion by the dedicated and committed members who are the brainchild of this website. Eric I think it would be a good idea if the vision and mission of this website is made as a link so individuals can focus/reference to when they are responding to the discussions.

People are People no matter what part of the world you are in some Men take advantage of women and Women take advantage of men You live and learn but women and men please practice safe sex when you are having a fling. Also i think there a good men in TB I married one

Hey Simple:

Get off your high horse, Little Missie. Slow down, girlfriend. Don't condemn another woman just because she tried her heart at love and it failed.The whole world is a mess. Good people suffer too. Remember that the man Job did no wrong and still he suffered, lost everything; Remember that Jesus Christ died for no wrong that he did. In fact, if you don't think you can get used by people--your children, workmates, your spouse, etc--you are living in a perfect world. And I aint see no perfect world yet. Wake up and smell the coffee, Baby. Stop hurling denuciations on the Sister. Simmer down.

We agree with you observer. We have tried to be relatively lenient regarding the approval of messages on this thread, as it is a topic affecting many. However, as most opinions have been heard, let us try to be supportive of each other, giving good sound advice and then move on. As our mothers always said, "If you have nothing positive to say, don't bother say anything at all."

Therefore, we will be very critical in approving any further messages on this thread and if the advice is not positve and new, it will not be posted.

Perhaps we could start a whole new topic: "What makes for a good, healthy, lasting marriage."

Never go to bed angry with your spouse.

I think to live a happy life with your spouse you must 1) Always try to eat dinner together 2) Stay playful you can't be serious all the time 3) Respect your time apart 4)Make a man feel like a man don't always try to over power him 4)Make a women feel like a women dazzel her once in a while surpise her leave the kids at home and go on a date, tell her she is always pretty to you its nice to hear. My husband always tells me if he had to do it all over again he would good and bad times and we kiss good night befor we go to sleep and always start with a good morning

I'm from the Tina Turner song "What's Love Got To Do With It" motto. And mind you it took sometime to REALLY understand what she meant by the song. At first I was like "what????? love IS precious." Can you hear me clutching the pears??? And it is...just today people really dont know EXACTLY what love is. I can love someone down! But if living together doesn't work or your life priorities aren't compatible with mine or finances are the least to be desired (and I'm talking extreme bad credit, poor handling / concept of money or COMPLETE lack there of) then love becomes a moot point. Is this a harsh reality? Nope! Should be common sense. Some of the most notable solid relationships like Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis (historic black actors) have gone through a few of the forementioned scenarios but because of their friendship and total committment to making their marriage work, have come out on the other side of dissapointment and enjoyed years of deeper, comfortable and spiritual level of loving. But that takes mad work. Which...most today are either not willing to do or have no idea how to do.

For the TB men situation. Well...I'll kick it with you for a minute. But when money becomes an issue (like "can I have some" regardless of how indirect), I'm out! Yes, living abroad affords many luxuries but also is really relevant. I've got bills which sometimes make me just as poor AND the money I've made is for me (you know retirement / vacations before I go crazy / saving for emergencies). I do not run a charity for the "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" coalition. And trust, Jamaica is NOT the only place men take advantage of women.

Now if there is general interest in contributing to a particular lifestyle and serious plans to make it happen pan out...cool. This may sound harsh to some but I make it a point to NEVER get seriously involved with a man who can not at least come to the table meeting me half way. Not at this stage in my life. Maybe when I was just starting out...hell both would have nothing. But eventually you wake up... why it's called a partnership. But wont knock those women who wish to.

Cheating men...I believe Chris Rock..."Men are only as faithful as their options." Women coming to Jamaica willing to give these men money in return for sex or companionship...RARELY will you find one who wont take it.

Oh yeah...and to answer the initial question from Loney Girl. This is a common problem in the States. And some of the posters are right...men are finding problems as well. Not necessarily can't FIND women (statistics do not allow it)...just women with integrity...so I hear. LOL Still a little skeptical on that but...hey...it's their experience.

What about a net pal section on the site, where people from TB and abroad can converse, build friendships and even relationships with people on a one to one basis.

Nix i think that's a good idea.

ON THE ISSSUE OF WHAT CONSTITUTES TO A HAPPY MARRIAGER

The Permanence of Marriage

Even under the best of circumstances, marriage is a union of imperfect individuals. (Deuteronomy 32:5) The apostle Paul thus said that “those who do [marry] will have tribulation in their flesh.” (1 Corinthians 7:28) Some extreme circumstances may even result in separation or divorce. (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:12-15) In most cases, however, Christians apply Paul’s counsel: “A wife should not depart from her husband . . . , and a husband should not leave his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:10, 11) Indeed, marriage was meant to be a permanent bond, for Jesus Christ declared: “What God has yoked together let no man put apart.”—Matthew 19:6.

To someone who feels trapped in a hostile or loveless marriage, Jehovah'ds standard may seem harsh and unreasonable. But it is not. The permanence of the marital bond moves a godly couple to confront and seek to solve their problems, rather than beat a hasty retreat from their obligations at the first sign of trouble. One man who had been married for more than 20 years put it like this: “You can’t avoid troubled times. You’re not going to be happy with each other all the time. That’s when commitment is really important.” Of course, Christian married couples feel a primary obligation to Jehovah God, the Originator of marriage.—Compare Ecclesiastes 5:4.

That is so true but christians do have their own marital issues, and major ones too, but as you said we should not run from our problems we should try and solve our problems.

Religion is a great foundation...for some. But what's also missing is guidance in choosing the RIGHT person for you. And I'm not even sure that could be listed out due to so many factors. One is an Eastern Philosophy "know thyself". How critical is that? If you don't know yourself and your triggers and isssues and just plain stuff, how could you begin to heal and become whole AND THEN find the person that best fits your authentic self? That is the key really. And then the spiritual princples laid out can easily be absorbed into a lifestyle not some "law." Let's face it. There are a LOT of unhappy people out in the world who just happen to married to each other and just may NOT be right for each other but chose each other based on their needs at that time in their lives. Not working on yourself and only quoting bible verses only pushes potential issues needing clearly deep down. So all you learn to do is "cope" or "tolerate" someone....who wants that??? And I mean if you are on the other end...the one being tolerate. What an insult to your soul. Imagine that!

If you're an behind, work on that. No one wants to live with that. If you're stingy, work on it. Who wants to feel unworthy. And so on.

I am so thankful that I have a good man. It took thirty years to find him but I did! Oh yes, we have gone through some things but we are together and together to stay. Do I trust him? Yep, I do completely. Can he trust me? Yep, completely. How did I find him? A desperate prayer to my Lord, Jesus Christ. I asked Him to send to me who HE wanted me to be with and He did. Up until then my love life was ...let's just say not so good at times - painful. I sure am glad that's over with!

I think one of the main problems with men is the lack of good fathers to raise them. They don't know how to be a man not to mention how to treat a woman. Then there is the monster that we have created with premarital sex. It seemed like a good idea but look at us now. Just imagine a world where there is one man and one woman and they are faithful to each other. It would solve most of the world's problems huh?

Women, too, have changed, especially in the US, into far more aggressive-passive creatures, making it tough for guys to determine right brain/left brain responses. Not withstanding the cultural differences. Used to be said that manipulation was the final, and ultimate weapon of a woman. No longer is that true. What our fathers did or didn't teach us no longer applies.

well the one thing i know for sure!!! there is no cinderella, snow white, little mermaid, sleeping beauty or a prince charming!!! life deals out a deck of cards and it's really a combination of good luck and morale's that guides us! the grass is not always greener on the other side...but remember you do not have to settle for less!!! i like to belive that good things are just around the corner or they also happen when you look your worst!!! REALLY!!! men do not have all the power' they just spin a good line of horse manure!!

I think that you are spending too much time on this topic...bottom line is that men are severely outweighed by women. There are more women than men in the world. Women PLAY lonely and desperate and men PLAY "knight in shining armor". It's time for women to stop sitting in the seat of the victim. Don't allow abuse...I'd rather be lonely than taken advantage of, not to mention disease free!! It's also time for men to be strong men(not just physically)...live up to the values that we were all taught growing up in TB...remember, respect. Yeah, yeah, Stella may have gotten her groove back, but did it last? Hell no!!! He left her for a MAN!!! How well did she really know him? Learn a thing or two from our parents that are married 50+ yrs and are overall happy. Reality check ladies, a man will take anything that you will give...sex, money, a plane ticket. Why give so freely? Take your heart off your sleeve and think with your brain. It's just a pity that some things have to be learned the hard way. My question to you is, how many times do you have to learn the same lesson? Enough said...NEXT TOPIC!!!

Last Lick?

Nothing turns on a strong man like a strong woman.

Not refering to biceps!

Amen, doppelganger.