GENIE

A Jamaican woman was walking along the banks of Dunn's River Falls when she stumbled upon an old empty bottle. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.

She talked with him awhile then the Genie told her he would grant her ONE wish. She said she heard from a cousin that she would get three wishes if she ever found a Genie. The Genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies nuh real, me is strictly a ONE-WISH genie...... So... is wah yuh want?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map, I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lawd Lady, A wah wrang wid yu?

PLEASE BE REASONABLE! Dem countries yah a war fi how much thousand a years. Mi shut up inna dis bockle fi 'bout five hundred a dem dey years. Mi good but mi nuh dat good! Mi nuh know if mi can grant dis one.
Du Lady, mek annadda wish!! Mi a beg yuh... Be reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right Jamaican man... You know, one that is
considerate and fun, likes to dance and helps with the cooking & house-cleaning, and is FAITHFUL. That's what I wish for...a good Jamaican man.

The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his head and said,

"Mek mi see di map again!!!!"

A Jamaican moved to Barbados and bought a donkey from an old Barbadian (Bajan) farmer for $100.00.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, the Bajan farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some really bad news. "The donkey is dead!"

The Jamaican said, "That’s OK, just give me my money back."

"No, I can't do that" said the farmer. "I spent the money already!"

The Jamaican said, "Ok then, just leave the donkey with me then."

"What are you going to do with it?" the Bajan farmer asked.

Jamaican: "I am going to raffle the donkey."
Bajan farmer: “You can't raffle a dead donkey!”

Jamaican: "Yes, watch, I won’t tell anybody it is dead."

A month later the farmer met up with the Jamaican and asked, "What 'happened with that dead donkey?" The Jamaican said, "The raffle was a huge success, I sold 1000 tickets at $2.00 per ticket and make a profit of $1,898.00."

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"

Jamaican: "Just the one who won, so I gave him back his $2.00."

"Do you have a cow to sell?"